HORRIBLE BOSSES

Hey! It is story time!!

Story land, story land, time for music, fun and joy, story land, story land, bring your friends along.

Please, all of you people that do not know this song, just realize that our generations are different. I am talking to both you oldies and you youngies.

So, tonight, we are going to be talking about horrible bosses. I am sure that my bosses on my TL have started wondering what would be said about them. Lol. Watch this space.

Today I will be talking about my bosses in xxxxxxxx Bank Plc. I joined the Bank in August 2010. The Head of the Legal Department then was xxxxx xxxxx. She was replaced that month by xxxxx xxxxx. The Company Secretary was also female – xxxxxx xxxxxx. When I handled perfection, I reported to xxxxx xxxxx. When I moved to Ibadan in September, 2011, I reported to xxxxx xxxxx. She was my boss until December 2014.

At a quick glance you would come to the conclusion that life must have been pretty hard for me, surrounded by female bosses, who are notorious for being hard liners… These women were sweet women. xxxxx had a hard face but she stayed in Surulere and gave me a ride home several times. xxxxx, with her smiling face, was stricter than XXXXX. She taught me that the reward for hard work is more work and man, she could drive anything, including slaves. _She almost take work finish me, chai!_

How do you cope with a boss who you meet at work at 6am and who you leave at work at 9pm? Your excuses are all water off a duck’s back. Worse still, the woman remembers everything that happened since the civil war! Unfortunately for you, she will pretend not to until you trap yourself in a lie you can’t get out of. Today isn’t about xxxxx, although I will talk about her a lot. She is the singular most influential boss I have ever had. She harnessed my culture of work though she maintains that my upbringing was responsible for my having it in the first place. She believes that any child that grows up in a loving home would always make great staff. What do you think of this theory?

It is time to make a confession o. All those women are not the object of today’s story. XXXXX was playful. She paid too much attention to me and my legion of visitors. She kept track of who came when and who brought what. (People never visited without bearing gifts). XXXXX was epic – feeding my children and changing my wardrobe annually. It is amazing which experiences come to mind when a name is mentioned, isn’t it?

Anyway, I only worked with two people who gave me experiences that can fit into this topic. They are actually very nice people; sweet *men*. Lol. This is not gender discrimination; it is saying it as it is. They are men who work hard and *force you to be on your toes and produce your best at all times, whether you want to or not*. You see this small thing that I have just written is what makes people cry at work. Yes, the men made people cry. However, I am not the crying at work type. I don’t get emotional at work, except maybe to get livid, and this doesn’t lead to tears *in the office*.

So, let’s meet xxxxxxx xxxxxxx. A few weeks into xxxxx’s reign as HOD, xxxxxxx was recruited as second in command. Tall, good-looking gentleman. We couldn’t tell if he was coming in to do fine man for us or if he was going to be sweet and crunchy like boss lady. He also had some adjusting to do with so many women at the helm of affairs. However, when he looked at the shop floor, he was always glad only one was his boss. Unlike xxxxx who smiled her way in, xxxxxxx’s plan to fit in was to quickly establish his authority. Madam xxxxx put him in charge of meetings and reports. That was when _wahala_ started.

The first crisis was xxxx. xxxx is an intelligent lawyer who is more academic than administrative. Xxxxx helped us discover that. Unfortunately, what xxxxxxx was in charge of administration. Xxxx and I sat on different sides of the office but we came together at meal times which was several times a day. One day, from my cove, I heard a few shouts and then I heard the sobs. Xxxx was in tears. I don’t know if the argument was over a late report or the biscuit crumbs on her table but he didn’t address the issue. He tackled her and the babe broke down. I had to console her but of course, she couldn’t do anything meaningful again at work that day. Strike one.

Sometime later that week, still ensconced in my corner cubicle, I heard someone bellowing. I couldn’t make out what was being said but within a few minutes, xxxxx was wailing. Another report was late and instead of addressing the issue, our supervisor had addressed the human. Two strikes in one week. The office was agog with furtive looks and calm trepidation. (I know what I did in that sentence). Everyone started approaching work with fear. I don’t know if that was xxxxxxx’s aim but I wasn’t one to fear work. I still carried my air of self-importance, after all, xxxxx had named me as her personal assistant and no one would dare touch her girl. That was what I thought.

The following week, it was my turn. I think the strategy was to get the weak ones cowering and then use a big one to show your dominance and then everyone would fall in line. One day, he asked me to construct records for a function of the department that I had just been moved to from scratch; an impossible task. Then, he went ahead to give me a 24hour deadline for it, seeking blood from stone. I seldom respond to instructions so I said nothing. My comeuppance came the following morning. I remember it today as clear as that day in September 2010.

He strolled in in a black suit, white shirt and black tie, with his suit unbuttoned. He was swinging his leather laptop bag while taking long strides across the office. If he had deigned to look at me, maybe the foible would not have been so great. He started shouting at me from the door and did not stop until he got to his seat.

“xxxxxx, I cannot understand why you are so inept. I asked for a schedule. If you couldn’t do it, you should have said so and I would know how to tell Madam xxxxx that you are simply lazy, seeking only to either occupy space or feign activity from morning till night. How hard can creating a schedule be? To further worsen matters, you did not either acknowledge the instruction or give feedback on it. I will not accept such nonsense from anyone in this office. If I do not have the schedule within the hour, you would be getting a query for it and I will copy HCM.”

Although, I am not naturally a proud person, I have some self-pride. You remember that I am from Ekiti. Those of us from that side of Nigeria believe in ourselves. I am sure you know what I mean. I looked at the open door to xxxxx’s office and simply got up and walked into her office without saying a word.

“Mummy, e wa mu aja yin o.” If you do not understand Yoruba, I am glad. I will not translate. Just know that it was a very rude statement.

“Ki lo sele?” she replied.

“I am the one xxxxxxx is shouting at and I think it is because you let him get away with shouting at those other two ladies. It is unacceptable behavior in the office!”

“Well, he isn’t unreasonable. He can’t start shouting for nothing. What did you do?”

“That is where I have a problem. I did not do anything. He sent me a mail yesterday morning asking me to prepare a schedule and send to him. He didn’t send a reminder or even ask me for the schedule, he just started shouting on his way into the office this morning.”

“Where is the schedule?”

“In his email. I sent it at 9pm last night.”

“Pardon him. He doesn’t know that my baby is an over-performer.”

“Can I just go back in there and embarrass him by shouting at him the way he shouted at me since we have decided to let chaos reign in the office? You can’t let him continue to behave like this.”

“xxxxxx, sit down.” That was the beginning of the lecture of my life, the one I have for you all today.

“One luxury life does not give to us is this – it does not allow us to choose our bosses. We do not have a choice in who they would be or what their personality would be like. The same way you did not choose your parents, you do not get to choose your boss. What you can control is how you react to your boss. I am happy that unlike the other two ladies, you have refused to let him steal your joy this morning and mess up your day. I am also happy that all the bad things you have to say were said to me and not to him because that also has the power to make life very difficult for you at work.

It is important to understand why you are here. It is also important for you to understand that you will have to manage several people in order to fulfill your reason for being here. Learning how to manage xxxxxx is necessary if you want to survive in this office. A few queries copied to HR can make things hard for you. It will become an appraisal issue. Work isn’t just about doing what you were recruited to do, it is also about learning how to work with other people, as difficult as they may be. The choice of whether you would enjoy it or not is entirely yours.

Let me quickly reassure you though that you are on the right path. If he has shouted at you for what you did not do, then you have taken the fuel out of his fire because he will soon find out you were right and he was wrong. What would then happen is that your “account” would be credited with respect, especially for not responding even though you would have been justified. Xxxxxx doesn’t know you. He has had contact with everyone else and he knows they seldom do what they are supposed to. Knowledge is progressive. He will come to realize that you are not like them and he will stop treating you like them.

So, go back to your desk and behave like nothing happened. It hurts, yes but you need it to learn how to move from here to the next stage. I am sorry he hurt you but I am not sorry that you are growing on the job.”

“Thank you, ma.”

Needless to say, xxxxxxx never shouted at me again. He didn’t apologize when he saw the email though. I guess men don’t leave their ego at home when they go to work. Lol. That speech from xxxxx xxxxx has however stayed with me ever since.

Is your boss badly behaved? Add it to your testimonial. If you can work with him/her, you can work with anyone. Also, guess what? Your work will always speak when everything else is against you. So, no matter what is going on, politicking and all, please do your work. Beef can edge people out or make life difficult for them but the hardworking person would always find room in a tight corner.

Please share the lessons you have learnt from this story. Thanks!