PERFECTING LOVE II

Was that how the relationship started? No. However, from that moment onwards, I was in awe of him. As it would turn out, I found out that he was in my department and as such we had exactly the same courses and the same extracurricular activities, including departmental outreaches etc. So he was at Dentistry Orientation. We went for Gbagi Dental Outreach together. He was at Awo Hall Outreach when our senior colleagues, and indeed the professors, discovered that I had the largest and best formed torus palatinus they had ever seen in their lives in my mouth. This story is educational. Google it. Lol.

Anyway, all these times, we were hi/hello friends. We had started talking simple sentences like where are you from, where do you stay, can I have your notes after class etc. We were classmates after all. Nothing personal. I had however gotten curious about Christianity and what they used to do in their fellowship. I mean, what can they be doing that would keep a rich and fine boy coming twice a week? Ko make sense si mi men… I had started asking a lot of questions.

I had a lot of toasters but I wasn’t dating anyone. I had discovered my sexuality a lifetime before then, though I was a virgin. I was busy being publicly sexually provocative and tormenting all the guys that dared to think they could toast me. Saying yes was not in sight anyway. All na play. An example is what I did to Ope Filani. He dared to ask me if I didn’t think my pink dresses were too short for class. So, I waited for him to go and sit with his girlfriend on one of those days that we were waiting for a lecturer that had no plans of coming. Then I went to the stage in front of the board at FLT and shouted to him in the middle of the class “Ope, by the way, I am not wearing anything under. Do you want to step outside?” I didn’t wait to see his reaction or hers before stepping outside to buy biscuit and drink.

Naturally, I made the news but I was a snob. I wasn’t someone they could talk to without being officially introduced. I wouldn’t even remember to “see” you. Funny enough, now that I think of it, I met all sorts of guys through Theresa sef. She was a tomboy; always wearing jeans and plaid long-sleeved shirts, waist length braids and ankle length boots. She stood out like a sore thumb and was a favourite with the boys. She even played football. Rme.

Now, where was I? At this time, Jeffrey (not real name) was toasting Theresa and as the official best friend, he (and several other toasters actually) were going through me. We had somehow become a company of 3, though they always got their private moments. I was somewhat closer to Jeffrey on a friendship level than Theresa was and I somehow connected to the members of his family too. Janice the charmer. May this charm bring me money very soon. Amen. I am digressing again. Kai!

Anyway, Arnold and I became classmates that talk during practicals and that discuss courses and lecturers. It was nothing personal until we were forced to get personal. Well, the Rose girl was manipulative. I also came across as a spoilt rich girl. My dad was a commissioner at the time. On account of this, she liked to think she was taking advantage of me. I just liked giving irrespective of the motive of the recipient. Therefore, whenever Arnold travelled, Rose would use my Nitel Call Cards to call him. Whenever I didn’t have call cards, she would ask me to call him at home in Lagos from the landline at home. That was how I got his phone number and our conversations got a bit more personal. I was home all weekend, every weekend. So we kinda spoke a lot. Still nothing too personal.

December 1997, he was seriously ill. He was home for almost 3weeks. While he was home, they fixed dates for our GES 101 exams. I didn’t have NITEL cards. Rose had used up all calling to check on him. The line at home was disconnected as well. I could only receive calls at my neighbour’s. On account of this, he wasn’t sure when to call. So, like Rose did, I delegated checking on him to my dad. Pause and read the line again. I know that is what you want to do. Lol.

The first time his mum picked the phone and it was my dad on the line, she took her time to explain to him that the Aina in their house was a small boy. Dad laughed and told her he knew and that his daughter told him he was sick and that he should check on him and tell him exam dates. Of course, after that conversation, his mum lectured him that those were the type of girls he wanted him to hang around and not the other type. (She had met Rose). Girls from good homes who genuinely cared and had vibrant open relationships with their parents etc… She passed on two weeks after my dad passed on. May God rest their souls.

Anyway, GES day came and he came round for the exam from Lagos. After he was done, he came looking for me. Since we were all in Dentistry (Rose was in Human Nutrition), we were all in the same venue, Faculty of Basic Medical Sciences, somewhere around Anatomy Department on Amina Way in the University of Ibadan. I guess that was the day we hugged for the first time. I guess he was appreciative of the care and concern while he was away (I was helping him write the notes I could because Rose asked me to). So, he ended up putting his arms around me while we were walking up and down Amina Way. I wasn’t used to it and Theresa and Jeffery found it funny because they knew I had a very bad bark (no bite).

Anyway, one thing stood out this day, more than the physical contact. We went to eat at Mama Anat. Jeffrey and Theresa ordered first and went to sit down. He placed his order and asked me what I wanted. Since I was taking so much time to think about the order, he handed me his wallet and went to sit down.

It might not have meaning to you but let me explain. He gave me his wallet and walked away. It’s just like girls feel the guy wants to marry them when he gives them the spare keys to his house. Lol. He bloody freaking gave me his wallet! I could do anything I wanted with its contents. He was no longer there to control what I did with it. His t-fare back to Lagos was in it. He was still under the weather and couldn’t stay in school.

Now, he knew what he did was say without words – I trust you. So, why was he trusting me? Some things tamper with some people’s settings more than other things. If he had tried to grope me or kiss me, I reckon I would have been able to handle it. The only man that had ever trusted me with his money in this life was my dad and even at that, I was supervised. This made a statement – this guy is different and this friendship would definitely be different.

I bought my food with plenty meat and gave him his wallet back. I didn’t spend more than I would spend if it were my money because I was used to eating well with plenty meat. I no spend pass N200. Lol. We both knew that something changed that day sha. We were no longer acquaintances. We were friends. What did you think I was going to say? You are just a hopeless romantic. Na food I buy na. We didn’t kiss under the stars or anything like that. Lol. He went back to Lagos and I didn’t see him again until after resumption in the New Year.

8th of January, 1998, I went to BLW for the first time. If you ever ask me when I got born again, I would quote that date. It was impossible for me to taste koinonia and return home the same way. Naturally, finding out that fine boy mulato was the keyboardist did not help at all. You don’t get – he wasn’t occupying space out of boredom. He was committed. Funny enough, I just remembered that that day, he wore the same shirt he wore on my birthday. Lol. Sentimental sturvs. Him and his shirt were the last things on my mind though. Pastor Kayode Adenuga preached on friendship with Jesus and what it implied. It made too much sense. I joined fellowship. Started following Jesus and went straight into Christianity from 0% to 100%. Took me a while to figure out speaking in tongues though. That took over a year.

When I was baptized in the Holy Ghost, he was there praying with me. He held my hand. It was Ugo Nwaomu, our PCF Leader, that did the honours. I remember that when I was still trying to understand the laying on of hands, I felt him let go of my hand and I felt the earth quake. My guy had fallen under the anointing. All 6 feet 4 inches of him. A body fully yielded to God. Those things became clearer because he always explained them to the pagan in me. My Christian story really isn’t much without him.